


Three A.M. Cinephiles

by Poemsingreenink



Category: The Magnificent Seven (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, a-list actor sighting, movie opinions because everyone is a god damn critic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 10:30:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10534635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poemsingreenink/pseuds/Poemsingreenink
Summary: It's three a.m., and they're in a Walmart talking about movies.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [VillaKulla](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VillaKulla/gifts).



> "Film lovers are sick people" - Francois Truffaut

By the time Goodnight found him, Billy had dug so deep into the three dollar movie bin that he was practically upside down. His feet waggled in the air, and Goodnight gave his ankle a squeeze.

 

"Find anything?"

 

He didn't ask if Billy had found anything 'good'. 'Good' as it turned out was a delicate, subjective little term that neither of them had ever found common ground on when it came to entertainment. And this was only further illustrated when Billy swung his feet to the ground, and popped out of the impressive heap with a grin on his face and a copy of _I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle_ clutched in his hands.

 

Goody could just make out the plot synopsis between Billy's fingers.

 

"’When a Satanist biker is killed by a gang of Hells Angels, an evil spirit he was summoning-', okay you know what. Never mind. I think the title really spells the whole thing out for me."

 

"We watched your horrible movie last week," Billy said. "We get to watch my good movie this week."

 

This announcement would have been easier to take had Billy not been completely serious.

 

" _Casablanca_ is not a horrible movie," Goodnight said, scandalized. "It is a classic among cinephiles and beloved by all ages!"

 

"It's in black and white, and it's boring," Billy said.

 

"Reunited lovers! Nazis! The French National Anthem! What on earth did you find boring about any of that?"

 

"I didn't like that there wasn't a vampire motorcycle in it," Billy said, poker faced. "I really think that would have made the difference."

 

Goodnight took several deep breaths. He didn't really want to get kicked out of another Walmart.    

 

"Billy, that is without a doubt the most terrible looking movie I have ever laid eyes on. And you keep in mind that I have seen every single one of the deplorable movies in your collection."

 

Billy clutched the DVD to his chest, looking wounded. "Don't be a snob! You like motorcycles. Maybe you'll love this."

 

"There is a better chance of me falling in love with Faraday," Goodnight said. "Is that what this is? Is that a plant? Are you and Faraday in cahoots? I refuse to believe such a fine establishment would sell such a movie."

 

Billy rolled his eyes. "If I were in-" he paused examined Goodnight's word choice, and grimaced. "I'm not saying that word. But if I were in _league_ with someone it would be Emma not Faraday."

 

He had a point. Once upon a time Goodnight had thought their pretty neighbor would be joining him as a fellow voice of cinematic reason. That was before she'd brought _Sucker Punch_ over, and cackled through the whole thing.

 

Goodnight switched tactics. "Can't we just watch _American Ninja Warrior_? Tell you what we can watch all the episodes with Jessie Graff, and then we watch that documentary you like about the other little blonde thing who looks like she could lift a tank. Just so long as we don't watch _that_ movie."

 

Billy's eyes narrowed. "No. My week. My movie. My vampire motorcycle movie."

 

"You make me watch that and for the next eight weeks I will be picking Wes Anderson films. Remember how much you liked _Rushmore_?"

 

Billy reached blindly behind him, and shoved his hand into the guts of the movie pile.

 

"Oh look. _The Musketeer_. Been meaning to watch this one."

 

“Don’t you dare wave that under my nose! That adaptation is a slap in the face of a god damn treasure of a novel!”

 

“There’s a sword fight involving ladders. I saw it on Youtube, and I love it already.”

 

"You know,” Goodnight said. “I think Netflix just got _Lost in Translation_."

 

“I don’t think it did,” Billy said. “But I do know that Emma loaned me all ten of the _Fast and the Furious_ movies. I want to relive the experience with you by my side.”

 

Goodnight was about to fire back that Sam had loaned him _Slumdog Millionaire_ , when Billy spotted something just over Goodnight’s shoulder.

 

When Billy got excited he didn’t wave his arms or kick up his feet. Instead he pulled in on himself. He’d zero in on whatever it was he wanted, and then take off at a sprint. Goodnight had come to look forward to these moments since the kinds of things that drew Billy’s attention were varied, outlandish and sometimes downright zany. And no one would ever say that Goodnight Robicheaux had ever turned his nose up at something downright zany.

 

Then again, whatever captured Billy’s attention at a 24 hour WalMart could be downright concerning. It was three a.m., and nothing good happened at three a.m. It was the time when serial killers took care of their shopping.

 

Billy brushed past him, and Goodnight turned to see him making a bee line for a person that was obviously lost. Not that he looked lost. He looked perfectly at ease scouring the magazine selection, but people that attractive did now show up in New Mexico Walmarts unless they were lost. Hell, they didn’t usually show up anywhere outside of a movie screen, which was around when Goody recognized the man as Christian Bale. Actor Christian Bale. _Batman_ Christian Bale. _American Psycho_ Christian Bale. Once flipped out on the set of _Terminator Salvation_ Christian Bale, and who Billy was currently heading toward at high speeds.

 

Goodnight leaned back against the shelves. He should probably be putting a stop to this, but truth be told he’d never seen Billy pester an A-list actor before.

 

Said actor was in the middle of flipping through _Teen Vogue_ when Billy got right next to him, and said “Did you like working with Bobby Holland Hanton?”

 

The poor guy jumped a foot. He took Billy in with a blink, and then his brain seemed to catch up to his mouth.

 

“My stunt guy? Yes, he was great.”

 

There was a very large, very frightening looking man that Goodnight had no problem assuming was a member of some kind of A -list actor protection squad heading down the aisle. He was watching Billy with the expression of someone who would swear they were only gone for fifteen god damn seconds!

 

Luckily, Billy was done. He nodded seriously, picked the _Teen Vogue_ off the ground, handed it over and then walked back to Goodnight.

 

“You didn’t want an autograph, darlin’?” Goodnight asked, as they headed to the register.

 

“Why? He didn’t free jump from a three-story ledge onto a balcony space while being shot at by a SWAT team.”

 

“That what Bobby Hanton Holland-“

 

“Holland Hanton.”

 

“-Bobby Holland Hanton did?”

 

Billy nodded. “Yep. In _Quantum of Solace._ ”

 

Goodnight plucked a Snickers off of one of the shelves as they walked, and added it to his basket of sugar filled groceries. “Don’t suppose I can convince you to watch that one instead of this monstrosity?”

 

Billy handed _Vampire Motorcycle_ to the cashier. “Nope.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: Kickass Tumblr User lostthecreativity made FANART FOR THIS!!: 
> 
> http://lostthecreativity.tumblr.com/post/159211065189/three-am-cinephiles-by-poemsingreenink-its  
> (Their individual movie stacks are PERFECT)
> 
> This came about because of a discussion villa-kulla and I were having about Goody and Billy's movie tastes. 
> 
> -All movies listed are real, but I haven't had the pleasure of seeing "I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle." 
> 
> -Bobby Hanton Holland is a real stuntman who did indeed free jump from a three-story ledge onto a balcony space while being shot at by a SWAT team. You can see him do other dangerous and wicked cool things in the "Thor" movies. I recommend reading some of his interviews. 
> 
> -The two stunt women that Goodnight brings up are Jessie Graff who is the stunt-woman for "Supergirl", and did this: https://youtu.be/Weg-cnecgH4
> 
> -The other is Zoe Bell who along with doing so many cool movies is in a documentary about stunt-women called "Double Dare" and also did this: https://youtu.be/Mq0xthZjW-s
> 
> They are all probably cooler than us. (Unless you yourself are a stunt person. Good luck. Hope that works out.)
> 
> -I don't actually know why Christian Bale would be in a New Mexico Walmart at 3 a.m. I think we all know it's for nothing good.
> 
> -Some of there opinions on movies are mine and some of them are not. Try to guess which!


End file.
